The Cliches are Coming
by ferretgirl-1124
Summary: A collection of parodies that should never have been written, but were anyways. Multiple pairings.
1. Evil Raven, Dead Terra

Title: The Cliches are coming!  
Author: ferretgirl1124  
Pairing(s): implied TerraxBB, implied RobxRae, implied SladexRob  
Genre: Parody, Humor  
Rating: PG

Summary: Raven is evil, Robin's obsessed, and Terra i>is still dead /i>!

**A/N:** Remeber, this is a parody

* * *

Robin paced obsessively, staring at the computer, waiting for the object of his obsession of appear on the screen.

"Wow. You seem obsessed." He spun around dramatically, his piercing blue/green/brown eyes widening behind his mask.

"Raven! What are you doing in my room?" He exclaimed, looking shocked.

"Oh, I randomly go through walls to invade others privacy." She said in a monotonous, blank, unfeeling voice.

"Really?"

"No."

"Then why are you here?"

"I want your hot bod." Her blue/violet eyes shone in the moonlight that was filling the windowless room.

"Really?"

"No."

"Good, because Slade would get mad." He turned back to the computer, angry, "Aren't you supposed to be cutting yourself?"

"No, right now I'm emotionless and cruel." She paused, searching through his thoughts with her demon mind powers, "Your parents are dead, Slade's cheating on you with me, and Starfire/Cyborg/Beast Boy is too good for you."

He broke down sobbing, tears filling his green/blue/brown eyes, as Raven cackled manically.

"Azarcath Meteron Zincos!" The evil, creepy, gothic girl disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"See if I rape you this week!" Robin called after her, in a grating whining voice.

The next morning a fight broke out in the tower kitchen.

"Grass stain!"

"Tofu!"

"Grass stain!"

"Tofu!"

"Friends please!" Starfire intervened, smiling vacantly "Stop this quarreling. The ship of friends is important and we must not ruin it with the fight of food!"

"Friendship and food fight, Starfire." Robin said with a condescending smile as he mysteriously appeared in the room.

"Dude, where did you come from?" Beast Boy grinned, "I've got a new joke for you!"

Suddenly his bright green emerald eyes filled with tears, "Terra!"

"She's dead Beast Boy. Get over it." Raven stalked through the kitchen, eyes glowing red.

"Oh, you're bitchy today?" Robin watched her, amazed by her stunning, haunting beauty.

Beast Boy laughed, then blinked, "Hey, where's Cy?"

In the background Cyborg appeared for a brief second, stuffing waffles into his mouth, "Hey, don't mind me, I'm not impor-"

"Hey guys!" Terra bounced into the room, her bright blue eyes and shimmering honey/lemon/gold hair enchanting everyone in the room.

"Aren't you supposed to be dead?" Or not. All four of Raven's red eyes twitched violently.

"Oh yeah..."

Raven flung her out to sea using her magical powers of mind, "And stay that way!"

And they all lived happily ever after, except for Terra, who was still dead.


	2. Mary sues and Marty Stus

Title: The Cliches are coming!

Chapter: Mary sues and Marty stus  
Author: ferretgirl1124  
Pairing(s): RobinxOC, RavenxOCxStarfire, implied BBxTerra  
Genre: Parody, Humor  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: A collection of parodies that should never have been written, but were anyways.

**A/N:** Where this came from, I will never know. And the names? Yeah, they scare me. >>

**Dedicated to:** SabreJustice, who encouraged me to continue this.

* * *

All was quiet in the city of no-one-quite-knows-its-real-name-because-they-don't-pay-attention. A gaint 'T' shaped building stood in the harbor, all occupats sleeping calmly, despite the fact that their home appeared to be floating away. It wasn't actually, but the newest laws of physics state that if something is ignored in fanfiction enough, it ceases to exist all together. Such was the case of the island that their home once stood on. 

Truthfully, they were afraid they would loose their home soon, and they knew they needed a hero. Fortunately, an amazing young lady just happened to be in the neighborhood. Her name was Rae-bee-ter-arg-pan-kol-jin-Fire, and she was amazing. That was her power. She was the same height as Starfire, with Raven's body type, and everyone loved her. Oh, and she could control the earth, 'cause she was just that cool.

So she brought the island back, and everyone cheered. Robin threw himself at her feet, ripping off his mask to reveal love-filled eyes. But not lust, because Rae-bee-ter-arg-pan-kol-jin-Fire was too sweet and innocent to inspire lust.

"Oh, Rae-bee-ter-arg-pan-kol-jin-Fire, I love you!" And of course, no one thought of shortening her name, because she was perfect and deserved the twenty seconds it took to spit out all those syllables, "I here-by dedicate to give up my life of secrecy and dedication to stopping Slade! My only goal will be to become as good as you at martial arts!"

Because she was a black-belt in things he'd never heard of, of course. Didn't you know that? Silly people.

Now it was Beast Boy's turn. But suddenly, Starfire and Raven pushed him out of the way to hug the beautiful girl.

"Oh, Rae-bee-ter-arg," Raven paused to take a deep breath, "-pan-kol-jin-Fire! You have taught me to experience emotions without putting others in danger! Your astounding beauty has also turned me into a lesbian! Marry me!"

But Rae-bee-ter-arg-pan-kol-jin-Fire shook her head, because she was too perfect to be gay, and because she had a thing for people in charge. But only good people in charge; she had given the Justice League lectures on ethics, after all.

So she wandered off with Robin and they had hot but somehow sweet and innocent sex on the beach, despite the fact that their beach was covered in pointy rocks, and left Raven, Starfire, Cyborg, and Beast Boy to lament over their lost love. Oops, did I say lament? Sorry. Too big a word. I meant whine.

But then...something happened! Rae-bee-ter-arg-pan-kol-Fire had a twin brother who was just as perfect as she was, and he appeared miraculously. His name was...(wait for it, wait for it..) Rob-bea-cyb-aqu-spe-kil-mas-men-her-gna-Flash. His name takes thirty seconds to say.

Raven and Starfire gasped, but Beast Boy jumped him first, "Oh, Rob-bea-cyb-aqu-spe-kil-mas-men-her-gna-Flash! You are the most wonderful thing I have ever seen! You have made me forget completely about Terra, and any attraction I might have had to Raven! Marry me!" But he shook his head, because he was also too perfect too be gay.

So he wandered away with Starfire and Raven to have hot but completely kind and understanding sex. Yes, both of them. He is the perfect guy, after all, and couldn't stand to leave adoring fans behind. Unless they were guys, of course.

And Rae-bee-ter-arg-pan-kol-jin-Fire and Rob-bea-cyb-aqu-spe-kil-mas-men-her-gna-Flash went on to save the world multiple times and have much more hot but somehow sweet and innocent, and hot but kind and understanding sex. And they all lived happily ever after, except for Beast Boy and Cyborg, and the multitudes of other Titans and villians not mentioned here.


End file.
